Asking Questions – An Elul Reflection

Last Tuesday, September 3rd, we celebrated the new moon and the Hebrew month of Elul. Preceding the Jewish High Holidays and new year, Elul is a time of reflection. We pause to both take accountability of how we showed up the previous year, and we look ahead to contemplate and commit to how we want to show up the coming year. 

I often begin my day by asking myself a question, a deep one, and strive to live my answer to the question throughout the day. Why? Because living into the question allows us to show up differently than we have before. By asking a question in the morning, truly asking it, I invite and allow myself to show up in a new way during the day.

Here are some questions I have asked myself over the years:

• How do I want my children to remember me?
• What does it look like to slow down?
• How do I live my values?
• What is my future self calling me to become?

As I step into Elul this year, I think back to Friday, June 14th. We went to see Sabbath Queen at the Tribeca Film Festival. It is a profound documentary made by Sandi DuBowski and for over 21 years, he followed and filmed Amichai Lau-Lavie. I personally know these two amazing humans, and it was wonderful to see many familiar faces on screen and to sit in a theater with acquaintances and friends. 

As I watched the story unfold, I was moved beyond words seeing the generational expectations and similarities to my own story. Amichai ‘s father and uncle have a deep relationship built through trauma of the holocaust and a dedication to one another. Amichai and his brother were born into a lineage that brings them to be the 38th generation of rabbis, in a line of rabbis dating back generations. They both have a commitment to serve their communities. Although it looks different for each of them, they do that by being there and honoring ritual and innovation. Amichai is the founder and creator of Storahtelling and LabShul, and his brother is an orthodox rabbi.

Yes, both are rabbis, continuing to answer the call of their ancestors and for some who may not understand the nuance of the various ways orthodoxy shuns other forms of Judaism, it might seem like the natural choice to stay in conversation with one another. 

But I grew up there, and work with those who leave the insular community called ultra-orthodox Judaism, therefore, I sat in awe watching Amichai’s family attend his rabbinical ordination from a denomination they do not approve of. 

As I walked out of the theater, so many emotions were brought to the surface, so many more took me weeks to process. 

The documentary offered many beautiful messages. For me, the deepest take away is that Amichai’s family, despite deep differences in belief systems, is able to show up for one another in humanness and support.

What makes you step in-between the divide? To honor each other as humans despite different belief systems, different nationalities, race, and religions? To hold one another in support and love?

As we reflect during Elul, what might it look like if we allowed ourselves to love despite our fear? To stand firmly in the places that hold multiple truths? To hold the many, the brokenhearted, the humanness in all of us? To listen and be with one another despite the many ways we might disagree?

I invite you to join me in asking these questions and see what emerges.