Staying In Conversation — A Shavuot Reflection

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The Holiday of Shavuot is tonight. For 49 days, I’ve been counting down to this night.

On Shavuot, the Jews were given the Torah.

The truth is, I struggle with the Torah. A LOT. The actual words and stories are archaic, out of touch, and patriarchal at best. 

And I love being in conversation with the Torah scroll, deeply.

Recently, I was joyfully chanting the Torah in a beautiful community of people. The vibrations, the energy, the smiles on people’s faces–I felt alive and connected.

I also felt disturbed, because I understood the meaning behind the words I was chanting, and the words were deeply horrifying. I looked up and noticed that most people were not taking in the meaning behind the words.

I paused and breathed and honored the dissonance. 

I hold this tension in my body every day.

You may be wondering, why do I still want to mark this day? 

This day that gave the Jewish people such a complicated story. 

The answer is simple. It is part of me.

This is my lineage. This is where I come from. These stories shaped my ancestry for hundreds of years. It has shaped every day of my life and my children’s lives.

We are steeped in this tradition.

I wrestle with this inheritance. I turn toward this text and engage with it, as my full self. 

I often say, this doesn’t feel right for today. How do I make it relevant for myself and others?

As Jews all over the world stay up all night, grappling and studying this same text in different ways, I step into that space with them. I love being part of this tradition. Even when it makes me mad, and I struggle with what it brings up. 

Celebrating this holiday makes me part of the conversation. And that matters to me.

Chag Sameach,
Chani

About the Author

Chani Getter, LCSW, is a therapist, public speaker, and interfaith minister. They are the author of Mapito: Embrace Yourself, praised by Kirkus as “a kind and inclusive guide to becoming your most authentic self.” Chani’s life and work have been featured in two documentary films and in numerous news outlets.

To book Chani as a speaker for your event or institution, please visit the contact page on chanigetter.com.

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Support the Author

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