Rev. Chani's Blog

Last night, on the fourth night of Chanukah, I sat with family, looking at the flames, eating some latkes. We talked about the holiday and how difficult it was to celebrate this year. 

The world feels overwhelming. I am so grateful to have friends and colleagues who are speaking in nuance and subtlety. Yet, the general noise and voices I have encountered are speaking in absolutes – right and wrong,  good and bad, oppressor and victim. It all feels like too much. 

Many years ago, I was going through a particularly hard time in my life. Nine years after leaving my ex-husband, he took me to court and I was once again fighting for custody of my children. I was on the phone with a colleague, and she could tell that my voice was breaking.

This past week, I had the privilege of leading a training at The Center for Safety and Change, a domestic violence shelter in Rockland County, New York. I walked in, thinking I was going to to facilitate a training on cultural competency and working with people who leave insular communities.

As I sit here re-reading this Yom Kippur reflection, I notice that this may be overwhelming for some, it discusses requirements of arranged marriage and the practice of hair-shaving for religious purposes. Please read with care and put it aside if it stirs up too much. 

I am not one of those people who look at the New Year as a time to write up goals or resolutions. To me the Jewish New Year has always been about reflecting, noticing where I am, what is working, and what I would like to change. It is a time to observe what is, and figure out where to go from there.